


the grass is greener

by Indis



Category: Harlots (TV)
Genre: 18th Century, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Episode 2x01, Female Friendship, Gen, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 08:44:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15336141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indis/pseuds/Indis
Summary: If things had been different, and Fanny and Kitty had made their escape together.





	the grass is greener

When Lord Fallon came to the door of the house on Greek Street on that fateful night, he received no answer to his abrupt, resounding knocks. He waited for a moment, but there was no discernible movement within, the windows dark. At last he turned back to his carriage, piqued at the wasted journey. There was no helping it though, and he contented himself with the knowledge that his unresolved quarrel with Margaret Wells might be dealt with another day.

But he had been wrong, for deep inside Kitty and Fanny rushed about packing their meagre possessions away. They had heard the knock and in their last act of rebellion against Margaret Wells had elected to ignore it. Imagining the look of rage that would have appeared on Margaret's face if she knew her girls had turned away a cull, Fanny was unable to suppress a laugh, although it sounded more like a sob than anything. Of course, she would never see Margaret again. Nor would she see Lucy, or William, or Charlotte, or Armitage. The names of all those she had known, some that she had loved, ran through her mind like yarn through a spinning wheel.

Kitty, perceptive as ever, looked up from where she was bundling up smallclothes and swaddling and, reaching over, gave Fanny's hand a squeeze. When Fanny met her eyes, she saw all of Kitty's gentle yet firm determination. She remembered what they had talked about earlier, Kitty's promise that from now on they would live for themselves.

Over the years she had worked for Margaret, Fanny had secreted away whatever spare coin she could as insurance for her uncertain future. It didn't amount to much, but Kitty had kept her own savings too; together they might make something of this small allowance. It would be hard-going at first, but weren't they used to hardship anyway? They had both known their share of hungry and cold nights, what it was for their boots to wear right through, to wear dresses more patch than cotton. It would be worth it if their daughters could grow up knowing more comfort than them.

At last ready, they left hurriedly, although whether this was to avoid being caught, or to avoid their own second thoughts, Fanny did not dwell on.

* * *

They found Kitty's young daughter in the care of her sister. The family had not been cruel to the girl, but her upbringing had clearly been tainted by the stain of her mother's dishonour. She was a shy, retiring thing, but quickly opened up when surrounded by the love of her mother and Fanny's simple kindness. She doted on baby Mercy as if they were sisters themselves.

Just as Kitty had planned, they took turns between minding the children in a back room of their tiny accommodation, or taking the scarce culls that appeared on the doorstep of their tiny lodging. For the first few months Kitty took the bulk of clients, until Mercy was weaned. These were anxious months for Fanny and Kitty, constantly fearing that someone they knew would find them again, despite all the pains they had taken to find a home far from Greek Street. Eventually, their worry faded, as they grew more secure and settled, enough money being earned that, if they didn't live completely comfortably, their situation was solid at least.

One night, when Fanny had turned out the final cull, she found Kitty looking in on the room where their daughters slept side by side, snug and carefree. Together they watched the rise and fall of their children's chests as they dreamed, until Fanny at last broke the silence with a thought that had preyed on her mind almost from the moment they had left for their new life together: 'D'you think it would've been better if we'd just stayed that night Kitty?'

Kitty was quiet for a while, then answered, 'No. I wouldn't go back there for anything. Don't you remember, Fanny, the atmosphere in the house back then? How the air itself seemed to simmer. And I swear to God, the night we left I felt such a dread in my belly, like I had just escaped I don't even know what...'

The fine hairs on the back of Fanny's neck rose. 'Still though. I thought I'd be happy, when I was free. Now I can't help but think about what will happen to Mercy when she's grown. I think I'd rather die than see her become like us.'

'Well, we'll just have to work all the harder then, so we can support our girls rather than put them out to work.' Kitty sighed, looking suddenly weary and old beyond her years. 'We were too idealistic, though. A better life for our girls, we thought. We love them well enough, I suppose, but that won't be much good when they're penniless.'

For a moment, an inexplicable kind of grief spread through Fanny's chest. In her mind, clear as glass, came the image of the rest of her days: dying forgotten and ignoble, either to the tragedies that so commonly afflicted poor women or to the rigours of old age; watching Mercy shed all the same tears that she herself had wept; knowing her daughter would be forced to tread the same thorn-strewn path she had.

Still, for now Mercy slept on, ignorant of the griefs and pains she would one day discover. At Fanny's side was Kitty, whom she loved and trusted more dearly than anyone else. She took Kitty's hand between both of hers, tried to convey a little strength to her through the connection. Whether she succeeded or not was unclear, but Kitty turned to her with a small smile. No matter what the future held, in this moment in time they were, finally, the masters of their own fate.


End file.
